death in the third world, tall tales of studying, general annoyances.

so this post is motivated by all the news over this Burmese (see: Myanmar) Cyclone that evidently killed something like 14 trillion people over the weekend. in case you don't know what a cyclone is, it's a hurricane, or at least a tropical depression just like a hurricane. i don't know what they're up to in the third world, but it's nothing good. i mean, anytime a disaster or accident strikes, just absurd amounts of deaths ensue. it pretty much goes at least 100-1 in terms of death toll. like, if a bus crashes in the US, 3 people will die. if a bus crashes in China/India/Africa, whatever, that number is something like 45 deaths. like, how is that even possible? it's like every day on the news something absurd happens in a far off place. "flood in Bangledesh, 16,000 dead, 45,000 homeless". "earthquake in Pakistan, 34,000 dead". perhaps the best examples are the infamous "ferry sinking" and "train derailing". you've seen the headlines as many times as i have, i'm sure... "ferry capsizes in Sri Lanka, 345 people feared dead", "train derails in Thailand, 452 feared dead". first... how do you fit 345 people on a ferry that is just capsizing in smooth waters? and second, how are they all dying? just swim, do the doggie paddle if you have to, you'll make it. it's mind boggling. i'm pretty sure that 345 people wouldn't die in the US if a ferry capsized on Lake Minnetonka in January, let alone some tropical lagoon. like, how is that even possible? and the train accident thing... i'm pretty sure that the vast majority of third-world trains are traveling no faster than 30 mph... how are they so lethal? i mean, if we really want to defeat the insurgencies in Iraq and Afghanistan, maybe we should provide them with 1960s-era bus/train/ferry transportation and watch the mayhem ensue. a flood here kills... i don't know, 15 people tops, right? an earthquake? maybe some old man's pacemaker stops so he dies. wildfires? the only people who die are the ones too stupid or stubborn to leave when they put the warnings on freaking CNN. but honestly, it's just bizarre. i mean, you can even take Katrina (on Wikipedia it says 1,800 people died from Katrina, but it also says 2 of these victims were in Ohio... and well, i don't know how that's even possible, so i'm refusing to credit Katrina with at least 2 of its supposed 1800 deaths.) and 9/11, easily two of the worst things to happen in recent history to a Western country, and those death totals combined are what? 5000 people? i'll even throw in the Iraq war, that takes us up to around 9,000, guess what, multiply that times 10, and you still are about 10,000 short of the cyclone death toll. that makes my brain hurt more than the last few episodes of lost and kind of just makes me want to curl up into the fetal position and whimper like i'm one of those puppies on that Sarah Mclaughan "angel" commercial. i just don't understand, someone explain it to me, please.

so ok, (as i slowly but surely build my readership up from the depths of nonexistance), but as i mentioned in my last post, we're currently all up in exams like nobody's business. which brings me to my general peeve about exams. well, not exams so much really, as the behavior of the students partaking in aforementioned exams. the "tall tales of studying" so to speak, are, in a word, absurd. like first, there's the whole "outlining" thing, which, if you don't know, is the practice, primarily done by law students, during which they convert their classnotes into outline form. typically, most students will then take this outline, and make a "mini-outline", in order to make things easier to find. here's my thought on the whole thing: first, outlining is a giant waste of time and is only necessary if your notes are a mess. if you keep your notes clear and concise in class instead of just transcribing word for word what comes out of the professor's mouth, then you won't have 90 pages of nonsense that it takes several days and a rosetta stone to work through in order to translate it into something that makes sense. take your notes in outline form, it kills two birds with one stone. then, people take this outline, and devote silly amounts of time to copiously devoting minor details to memory, often crafting elaborate super hypos that could only possibly occur in a legal "perfect storm" scenario, which then, of course, confuse said student, whoever they're studying with, and the whole class when the hypo is posed to and typically dismissed by the professor. nicely done. as horrible as all of this is, it all pales in comparison to the absolutely absurd time investments that everyone claims to have made to studying. "i studied for 9 hours friday, 11 saturday, and 12 yesterday" will be overheard on a monday. and, um, that means one of two things... either A.) you're like a master scholar and now qualified to write THE textbook on the subject. or B.) you're horrible at managing time, like me. just because you were up and on your computer for 9 hours doesn't mean you were STUDYING. you were probably facebook stalking people, watching youtube, reading ESPN/celebrity gossip sites (depending on your gender), whatever, but you weren't fucking studying, so stop the act. it's just silly.

now: just a couple of general annoyances that have sort of been rattling around for a while, and what the hell, now's as good a time as any to get them off my chest.

- driving/being around roads in cincinnati can be intense. one thing i've noticed is that red lights don't mean anything here. like, i've got to cross a decently busy street every day on my way to school. typically, when the light turns red, everyone stops, and you can safely cross. here, you'd better count to 5, and then cross, because chances are at least 2-3 people at every light think that the time when the light changes from yellow to red is not time to slow down and stop, but rather the time to gun it and have no qualms about running the shit out of a redlight. it's crazy. and that's just cars going straight, heaven forbid people turning left through a red light. there are times when you've got to wait half of the green light just to wait for the 3-4 cars that are inevitably on their way to clear the intersection. its absurd. stack up one more group of people that need to be sterilized at the very least, ideally, beaten with rods.

- how no one ever says anything about the level to which hillary clinton, barack obama, and john mccain are full of shit, hypocrites, and generally not good people. lets see, all of them ran for election to the united states senate, correct? they presumably made promises to their constituences (kind of like they are right now) about what they were going to do for this or that and blah blah blah. when was the last time any of them was an actual senator? like, as a US senator, you're one of the 130 or so most powerful people in the US (i figure that the pres and VP, high ranking cabinet posts, the speaker of the house and the supreme court trump them, but still) and those three buffoons are taking advantage of the trust placed in them by the people that elected them into office by doing what? never doing their jobs. nice work. it must be nice to have a position that pays $170,000 that you can DO NOTHING for and still get paid, especially when all three of you are already worth millions. so don't talk about "change", if you want to change, grow a conscience, quit playing it safe, and do the voters and taxpayers of america a service by resigning your senate seat like a classy individual with morals would do.

- another annoyance, why, when you publish a post, does it say the date you began working on the post rather than the actual publishing date? this says the 6th, which would be when i wrote the cyclone part, then i worked on the rest periodically through the week, only to finish it saturday. obnoxious.

- the use of "poop" in the media as if it's an actual word. "poop" is not a word unless you're fucking 5. twice this week i've seen stories with the word "poop" in the title on CNN. something about babies "dealing with the sleepless nights, the poop, blah blah blah" and something about puppies "puppies - the love, poop on your rug, and chewing your furniture", or whatever. ok, whatever, i understand the idea you're trying to get across, but saying "poop" is the equivalent of saying wee-wee. like, if you're an actual adult, you call the male member a cock, dick, or whatever slang term you prefer to use, purple-headed yogurt slinger, whatever. if you're a child, you call it a wee-wee or whatever the hell kids call it nowadays. in between, if you're a doctor, a reporter, someone using the term technically, you call it a penis. the same goes for "poop". if you're a child, you call it "poop", "poo-poo", whatever the fuck. if you're an adult who's not trying to impress anyone, it's shit. if you're a doctor or someone with a technical usage, it's feces/fecal matter, not fucking "poop". jesus. cnn, get a fucking handle on your writers.

- the democratic primary system. either way here, someone's getting screwed, and i find it hilarious that these are the same people that make a big stink about Gore winning the popular vote in 2000. lets see, if Obama wins, as he's likely going to do, he's going to be the Democratic nominee without winning California, New York, Texas, Florida (i know technically no one won florida, but do you really think he'd beat Hil there? it's like New York/Ohio jr.) Ohio or Pennsylvania. if hillary wins, she's going to do so without winning the popular vote, and thereby causing a big stink. and no matter who wins, the 20 million people that live in michigan and florida are getting fucked by having no votes at all. and this is the DEMOCRATIC party? christ. when other countries pull this shit we send troops in. fix the primary situation already, it's a freaking joke.

- ashton kutcher and generally "movies" like "what happens in vegas". how is this no talent asshat still getting work? what's his contribution to american cinema and popular culture? playing the "joey" character on "that 70's show"? great. great contribution. (note to self: travel back in time and prevent "that 70s show" from ever being made to spare the world of topher grace, ashton kutcher and wilber valderamma (sp?)) lets look at your body of work... "the butterfly effect". meh, mediocre at best. "dude, where's my car?" - dude, where's my gun? and then, oh, surprise surprise, 10 movies where he plays the same fucktard he's going to be playing in this shitfest that's destined to get a 1.2 on imdb. generally, i just hate, i mean loathe, i mean despise movies that are like this "what happens in vegas" fiasco. i mean, anyone with a positive iq can figure out exactly what's going to happen in the movie from the 30 second preview... and there isn't even anyone very funny in it, those shitty movies usually star matthew mccaughnehey. lets see, ashton and cameron go to vegas, get drunk, get married, realize it's a mistake and decide to get un-married, win $3 million, try to get/keep the money from each other, then realize they're perfect for each other and fall in love for real. awww... how sweet. oh wait, it sounds like something Awesome-O wrote, or maybe the Family Guy manatees. aren't these "films" usually right to DVD? and how'd they get Cameron Diaz to sign onto it? she actually has displayed flashes of talent at times... oh well, she must have a vibrator made of rolled up $20s at home.

- something that seriously annoys me and that i just have a general beef with is the absurd (over)use of the exclamation mark (!) by our generation. (disclaimer: i am not referring to appropriate use of "!", i.e., when its used as an EXCLAMATION, i am referring to the gratuitous and downright absurd usage that pervades popular culture today, as in "Well I can come there if you want!" - psh.) what's up with that? like, doing quite a bit of communication via the written/typed word, whether it be a text, email, IM, facebook message, whatever, i couldn't tell you how many times someone has typed something along the lines of "i haven't seen you in a while! how are things!" uhhh... why the unnecessary exclamation, and why the complete disregard/willful ignorance of proper english usage? am i trying to overhear you while we're going 90 with the top down? are you an overenergetic stereotypical sorority girl in a college comedy? or you know, me being something of a joker, i'll say something to someone, at which they'll reply "LOL!!!". um, ok, typically i save the the exclamation for special occasions, but alright... i guess. kind of weird and generally creepy, but alright. i guess your overenthusiasm isn't quite as creepy as your general outlook on the world and attitude towards everyone, now that i reflect on it. but no, seriously, do yourself a favor and browse through various facebook profiles and/or myspace pages, if that's your thing (although really, if you're big on myspace, go read someone else's blog, myspace is for people that 1.) went to technical school, 2.) are wanna-be rappers/producers, or 3.) are indie kids trying to "make it" by living the band dream. either way, i'll happily lose your readership) and just check out the use of the exclamation point. it blows my mind. like, i'd like to think i'd never use an exclamation point, but i guess if i was in a Sri Lanken ferry accident i'd exclaim "Someone save me, i'm the only person here who can swim!". honestly, there's only one phrase that truly deserves the full exclamation point treatment that i know of: "Not in every nook and cranny John!". but if you aren't a badassed former Republican Guardsman, seriously, lets save the unnecessary exclamation points, honestly. i can just imagine these kids writing horrible fucking papers growing up: "George Washington was the first president of the United States! He married Martha and had no kids!"... um, thanks there Billy, but removing that exclamation point makes you appear much less like the first monkey who learned to read and much more like someone who might someday finish a whole book, of words and sentences, paragraphs and maybe even "ideas" (although honestly, who am i kidding -- someone born after 1980 who can handle "ideas"? lets not get ahead of ourselves. and really, not to single out our generation, people have always been dumb, i'm just most intimately familiar with people aged 20-27 or so, so i feel most comfortable critiquing their general "culture", worldview and what not.) no less. really, an exclamation point adds nothing to the discourse whatsoever, besides making you appear to be an overeager fool, it connotes no added meaning and generally dumbs the whole thing down, particularly when used improperly, as it so often is and can be. i guess we're picking up on a general theme throughout this blog, and that's just the general degradation of the english language as a whole. its just a sad thing, this deterioration. haven't you ever noticed how much more fun it is to converse with someone who's well-spoken and articulate? i try to stick to general english as much as possible in my communication, whether they be messages, texts, IMs, you name it. you should too, otherwise you might be caught making a general douche of yourself, "I know, me too!". uhh, how about you turn down the intensity a couple of notches there champ and take a couple of plays off... you're about at a 14, we're going to need you to be at 6 or less, thanks a lot. i think about these things, and they trouble me. (i'm not even going to mention multiple "!!!"s, but lets just say that your douchey-ness increases exponentially as each "!" creeps into your exchange. so don't say you weren't forewarned).