2012: The Year in Film: "Haywire" Review

Only a solid 6 days late on this one.. one of these days I'll get the movie reviews up to current status. Crazy things like booze and the internet tend to get in the way. Gina Carino was a minor cultural phenomenon back in... ohh.. 2007/2008? She was an attractive and skilled female MMA fighter who gathered a large following and parlayed that following into a featured spot as one of the "Gladiators" on the short-lived modern reboot of "American Gladiators". Then someone (Steven Soderbergh) decided that she should be in movies, and here we are. Soderbergh, of course, is the acclaimed director of films like "Traffic", the "Ocean's" films, "Contagion", "Erin Brokovich", and so on. Needless to say, he can attract A-list talent to his projects. It seems like he's been on an experimental bent lately, making a flick with porn star Sasha Grey a few years back and now introducing the world's first female MMA star to feature films.

The supporting cast in this one is impressive. Ewan McGregor, blog favorite Michael Fassbender, Antonio Banderas, Bill Paxton, Michael Douglas and Channing Tatum round out the cast. As far as Carino herself, she has a solid screen presence, a natural beauty and a certain physicality that brings believability to the action sequences. However, it's clear that she's a newcomer to the movie game.. as her dialogue seems stiff and forced, and she doesn't seem to know what to do with scenes that don't require her to kick someone's ass. She may become a good actress someday.. but she just isn't yet. Not that that's her fault - carrying a movie is no easy task - Nic Cage hasn't figured out how to do it despite 25 years and 30+ chances.

As far as the plot - it's pretty standard and throwaway. Mallory is an agent for a company that contracts out dirty work for an unnamed government agency. Basically, they do jobs so that the government doesn't have to. After a contracted rescue mission in Barcelona where all is not as it seems, Mallory's world comes down around her head through a web of double-crosses, lies and betrayals. The plot hops around the globe as Mallory seeks to stay one step ahead of her pursuers, whose intentions aren't entirely clear.



All in all, I was rather disappointed in this one. Not that I expected it to surpass the "Bourne" flicks and become an action/spy classic, but given the talent behind and in front of the camera, I hoped for a solid flick at least. Unfortunately, this flick is uneven, inconsistent and rather dull despite stretches that are quite good. The plot is rather paint-by-numbers and seems more befitting an 80's Segal or Van Dam actioneer rather than a flick involving all of this talent. Bad guys with dubious allegiances and even more uncertain motivations simply doesn't cut it in our post-Bourne, post-Daniel Craig Bond world. In addition, as mentioned above, Carino, despite her impressive physicality and fight sequences, is simply a stiff unable to hold a movie on her own. She would have been better suited to ease her way into a starring vehicle via supporting roles.. as it felt like she was doing a "Terminator" impression throughout. In addition, Soderbergh's trademark jazzy transition scenes (think the "Ocean" movies) simply felt out of place. Trying to turn a John Cena straight-to-DVD flick into an arthouse flick with A-list talent and smooth listening jazz interludes just results in a slightly better genre flick in the absence of a transcendent performance. Unfortunately, the talented actors (McGregor, Fassbender, Douglas, Banderas) simply aren't given any meat to chew on. The most nuanced and complicated non-Carino character was played by Channing Tatum.. who probably takes acting lessons from his acting-challenged co-star. That dude is a stiff.

I hate to sound so negative about a movie.. but this one just didn't do it for me. There are scenes that are tense and very good.. but these cut abruptly to something COMPLETELY different, giving the flick an extremely uneven, disjointed feel. Carino does great fight scenes, as she should, but you really believe that she could beat up a man.. which isn't typically the case with women action stars. So while she certainly has some potential, she's just not there yet. So while this one isn't bad, it isn't particularly good, either.

5.5/10

2012: The Year in Film: "War Horse" Review.

What if Forrest Gump was a smart horse instead of a dumb man? So I hung out with Mom and Dad this past weekend, and Mom REALLY wanted to see this one, so see it we did. My dad and I came to the agreement that the only thing worse than the trench warfare on the Western front of WW1 in human history was the Holocaust. Being a Spielberg flick, there are a few things it's helpful to recall about Mr. Spielberg. First, when it comes to visuals, Spielberg may not have a peer in the movie business.. James Cameron, Terrence Malick or Michael Mann might have grounds to argue, but no one does sweeping vistas and epic destruction the way that he does. Also, his flicks are always imbued with a certain (often emotionally manipulative) sentimentality. The man simply cannot resist soaring music and close reaction shots that are all but guaranteed to make the room PRETTY dusty. Have you watched ET as a grown up? Holy cow, I openly wept. Not that these are bad things, the man is undoubtedly a master filmmaker, they are just certain things you notice about someone when they've been very prominently artistically expressing themselves for more than 35 years. Oh, and there's the fact that this is a guy who manages to put a happy ending on everything - whether it's a movie about dinosaurs eating people. interplanetary warfare, a murderous shark, the holocaust, WW2, a lost alien or one archaeologist vs. nazi germany, things seem to work out for Steve's heroes. Once again, not a criticism.. simply a recognition of a certain cinematic style, a style that has become as integral to what makes movies "movies" as popcorn.

So War Horse, the film, is based on a best-selling British children's novel and stage/Broadway adaption of the same. Set in Britain and Continental Europe before, during, and briefly after the First World War, the story follows the son of an English farmer as he raises and trains a remarkable horse. The boy and his horse find themselves separated by war an circumstance, and a number of nigh-miraculous happenings lead to their reunion on the French battlefield. Along the way Joey (the horse) finds himself forced into the service of the English, German and French armies, adopted by a French jam maker and his granddaughter, and gains friends and admirers at every step.

It should come as no surprise that this film looks incredible. Much like Saving Private Ryan, the wartime battle scenes are as breathtaking as they are horrible. The sweeping visuals are reminiscent of classic Hollywood, where epic scenes were created with epic settings and hundreds of extras. In many ways, that's what this film feels like.. like an old hollywood epic western or war movie. There's no political point being made, if anything, all sides are treated more or less as equally reprehensible.

At the same time, this may be the most emotionally manipulative movie I've ever seen. I don't even like horses, in fact, I'm scared of them (I like being the largest animal in any given situation), but this flick tried harder than just about any other flick I can think of to get the waterworks going, and succeeded more than once. People know that animals elicit truer and purer emotional responses than humans do, as counter-intuitive as that may seem, so by depicting the horror of war through the eyes of an innocent, endearing animal, you idealize your subject while emphasizing the suffering. And the ending? Forget about it. The theater was full of sniffles.



This is an extremely watchable, artfully done and well-executed film. Technically? It may well be perfect. The action scenes are great, the color, lighting, camera angles, scenes, settings and costumes are perfect. It is well acted, featuring many recognizable English actors, although the structure of the film, being a series of vignettes that happen to a horse over the course of the war, means that no one actor or actors is really the focus. The focus is the horse, and the war. The plot is a bit strained in having Joey manage to see so many differing parts to this war.. but by the time he finds himself in the moonscape of no man's land, you find yourself not caring all that much. I made the comparison to Forrest Gump above, because that's what I found myself reminded of. Forrest Gump found himself a part of a number of historically significant moments due to no intention of his own but rather as a victim/beneficiary of circumstance, simply riding the wave of what came his way. Joey the horse is much the same in that way. He's sold to the cavalry, so he heads to war, where he changes hands as various riders/owners/thieves are killed or captured or separated.

So, in conclusion, I liked this film, but didn't LOVE it. The plot strained the limits of credibility a bit too much for that, but that's the kind of film that it is.. it's not aiming for documentary status here. Uplifting in parts, horrifying in others, it presents an earnest look at one of the worst calamities to ever befall the human race while also supplying a happy ending. There are certainly many worse things you could say about a film.

Technically perfect, emotionally stirring, extremely well done but unfortunately falling short of greatness, War Horse gets a solid 7.5/10. The rare watchable film that really is accessible to all audiences.