Some Shit.

I'm back from fall break. fall break is maybe the worst idea ever as far as law students' academic careers are concerned, it's just a gigantic tease. sure, in undergrad there is fake fall break, aka fall "long weekend", but in law school they give us a whole week off... and it's a horrible idea. i am the opposite of motivated. i mean, don't get me wrong, it was sweet to see the g/f every day, but one week breaks from reality aren't conducive to me being a productive student, that's all i'm saying.

something that should absolutely be illegal? commercials with the "alarm clock" sound in them. that sound originates from the depths of hell... i get a horrible cringe up my spine every time one of those fucking commercials comes on. don't advertisers realize that basically everyone has been conditioned to hate that fucking noise?

There is shit going on around here that I'm not in favor of and in no way condone. I just got back from the "campus recreation center" here at UC, and we need to lay some ground rules for that place, b/c there is all types of douchebaggery going on up there. first: the outfits. what in god's name are you people thinking with some of this shit that you've got going on? in what world is wearing a wife beater in public in any way acceptable? perhaps the worst part is that it's never the undershirt wifebeater, it's a wifebeater of the gray/black variety. come on now, that's just absurd, on so many levels. put some fucking clothes on. at least 40% of the guys that are up at the rec don't actually partake in any physical activity, they just walk around while wearing inappropriate outfits, you aren't a fucking peacock, go strut your shit elsewhere. perhaps even worse than the wife beater is the ridiculous cut-off. you know what i'm talking about, the shirts that are so cut off that the only connecting fabric on the sides consists of a 1.5 inch strip, dude, come on, no one wants to see your fucking nipple. another interesting outfit phenomenon at the rec is the exact opposite, the "fully clothed" look. typically found among individuals of... what's the term? "foreign" descent, the "fully clothed look" is simply ridiculous. there is no way you can partake in any physical activity wearing a sweater and tight, tapered jeans right out of a Chris Isaac video. what are you even thinking dude? like what, you just got out of church so you decided to head straight up to the rec, get some reps in? i wish i could read people's minds, i just want to know what the hell is going on. (i'm not even going to speak on those unfortunate souls that "grunt", b/c i'm sure you know how i feel on that point.) another weird thing are the people that go to the rec and do pushups... is that really neccessary? can't you do pushups anywhere? it perplexes me, utterly. the other thing that just needs to cease completely while i'm around is "lesson time", you know, the people that don't really know what they're doing, so they're just up there fucking around and taking up space. if you're going to fuck around, go get a basketball and throw up half court shots, i've got better shit to do than watch you make a fool of yourself, get off of things that people might actually want to use. same deal for the people that bring their girlfriends/people they're trying to fuck up to the rec and screw around with them. really? you really have to use a piece of equipment to flirt with some chick? really? get some balls and hit the dorm room kid, you're in college, if you can't get laid w/o the rec just give up.

ok, you know what else is crazy? wild animals. they're fucking bizarre, in many ways. first, isn't it crazy how strong animals are? like, it makes you wonder how strong people could be if we weren't taught from an early age to hold back. and then you realize how people like Manny Ramirez and Mike Tyson became dominant athletes, they don't have the mental capacity to absord any sort of socialization on that point, ergo, they never lost their feral, wild animal strength. like, if a dog/cat is pissed at you, they can be hard to handle. imagine a monkey/puma, much less a moose/bear. basically, all animals have extreme retard strength, and so does Manny Ramirez. that's not even really what i wanted to talk about as far as wild animals go, what's really crazy is how some animals have "jobs", and how intensely into these jobs they are. like a beaver. how into making their dams are beavers? what if any person anywhere was as into doing ANYTHING as beavers are into making their dams? if i had "beaver drive" i would have like 3 PhDs already and be on my third million. i mean, read about these fuckers: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beaver
. ok, it's official, after reading that article, i'm afraid of beavers and their intensity level. i mean, you wreck a beaver dam, and they don't sulk, they don't do anything except rebuild it EXACTLY HOW IT WAS. wtf? that is crazy, and that's why wild animals are sweet. i mean, what if you just spent weeks building a sweet house, and then someone came and wrecked it. i guarantee there would be some intermediate step between finding your house destroyed and you starting to build house #2. not so with a beaver, they're just like "well, fuck it" and they go off to work. it blows my mind. basically, if a person was a beaver, they'd do their job for 17-18 hours a day, sleep 4 hours, and eat for 2 hours. just all business. what if someone kept that schedule? you'd be a billionaire by age 25. and it's not just beavers, groundhogs do the same shit, so do lots of birds. did you know that groundhog/gopher burrows extend for like hundreds of yards? what do you think they spend ALL of their time doing? you guessed it, fucking digging. what do you think the first thing they do if some goofball wrecks their burrow is? build burrow #2. wild animals are just too intense for me, like on every level. i'm not a fan of their intensity level. i don't trust anyone/thing that can't relax. beavers, gophers, nesting birds, spiders, bees, ants, squirrels? not relaxing. just all intensity, all the time. basically, if a beaver had a motto, it would be "get busy living or get busy dying", and if they were a person, they'd drive a Chevy Silverado and wear "Wolverine" boots, telling stories about how they started their business while they made "business calls" on their fucking nokia. i think that's why i like bears. are bears terrifying? absolutely, a bear will fuck you up. but they aren't all business all the time, they've got other shit going on. if you sent a cameraman out to follow around a bear, who knows what he's getting into, fucking with people's trash, rolling around in the grass, trying to catch some fish, i mean, the bear's got a pretty solid day. if i was raised in the wild and didn't know anything about human society, i like to think i'd be down with the bear life. beavers? i can't relate. too intense. blue-collar even. the beaver is a blue-collar ass animal, they call him the workin' man. penguins screw around too, as well as most primates, i'm down with that. otters are pretty sweet too, count me in on the otter lifestyle. animals that are jittery as shit are completely obnoxious too. squirrels, deer? what are you so scared of? just take it easy, you're hanging out on campus, what's the worse that's going to happen to you? if you can't outrun a UC student/dog, then just hang it up as a wild animal, you've got retard strength, just relax. the weirdest thing about deer to me is how they're scared of everything EXCEPT cars. like what, you're scared of a kid on a bike and someone's annoying ass golden retriever, but not a 1,500 lb. metal killing machine hurtling down the road at 60 mph? good call, let's be overly cautious around everything except the one thing that means certain death. you're a waste of space, deer. but yeah, generally, when you just sit around and think about what wild animals are up to, it will blow your mind, b/c there's no rhyme or reason to it.

(a note on Manny Ramirez, the announcers just made a point to mention that he's "as dangerous a hitter as there is in the big leagues with two strikes, he can strike like a cobra in a basket", isn't it to the point now where we can just up and say it? wonder why he's so good with two strikes? he's obviously mentally retarded. he has no idea what the count is, what the score is. manny doesn't know if it's 0-2, 3-0, he doesn't fucking care. the guy is a running punch line for the nation. can't we just go out and say it now? look into Manny's eyes. there are no lights on upstairs. he's like a squirrel. very little to no higher cognitive function. is he functional? absolutely, the dude can clearly play baseball. he's like rainman, for baseball. rainman to math = manny to baseball. an idiot fucking savant. the dude is going to end up in a one bedroom somewhere in brooklyn, with millions in the bank but no idea how to access/use it. i mean, he GRADUATED HIGH SCHOOL in the united states, and still is borderline unintelligible. he's like the Forrest Gump of baseball. "hit manny, hit". an idiot savant, Manny Ramirez.)

i'm sure you want me to talk about the Indians. well, i don't really want to, i'm bitter. 2nd most bitter experience of my adult sports-fan life, following only the 2007 BCS championship debacle by my beloved OSU buckeyes. that made me consider not liking sports any longer for at least a month, this one just really pissed me off. there's something about watching your favorite team just piss down their leg that is really, really upsetting. it makes you feel like you've got more invested in it than the players do. really, the only positive out of the whole playoff experience was that you got to see some young guys step up and make a real impact. b/c when you think about it, Sizemore, Sabathia and Hafner had a shitty postseason. and going in to the playoffs, if someone said "name the indians 3 best players", those 3 would get 90% of the votes, along with Victor. and when you consider that the Tribe beat the Yankees with their infinity payroll and took the BoSox to 7 with their 3 best players pissing down their collective legs, it's pretty remarkable really. that's the worst part about it, is the guys that should be stepping up, Sabathia and Hafner, are the guys that blew it for the tribe, that just sucks ass. your two franchise cornerstones are blowing donkey dick in the biggest moments of their professional lives thus far... it just makes you wonder. when you're fighting the champ, a heavily favored team, and you've got them on the ropes, you have to knock them out. you don't let boston go to games 6 & 7 at home. you knock them out as soon as you can. when you've got your best pitcher on the mound at home, you HAVE to win, there are no options. game 5 was the worst day of my life, after they lost that, i knew it was over, and it's completely on Hafner, Sabathia, and Wedge. 1.) hafner ground into that double play in the first, completely letting beckett of the hook after he'd given up 2 singles to lead off the game. 2.) sabathia took a shit again, nice job you fat fuck. let someone else pay your out of shape ass $25 million a year, b/c all you do is disappoint at moments when you should be stepping up. Carmona is allowed to have a shitty game, he's 23 years old and this is his first season as a big league starter. what's your excuse CC? go play guard/tackle for the browns you fat shit 3.) why in the fuck did Wedge bring CC back out for the 7th? everyone watching the game knew he was donzos, he was up around 100 pitches. fuck fuck fuck. i know 3 things. 1.) i'm never forgiving travis hafner for the giant shit he took in the ALCS. get back on the juice trav. 2.) until CC gets his fat ass into shape, he's never going to be a dominant pitcher for the entire season. if he lost 35-40 pounds and got down to 280-290 where he needs to be, no one knows how could he could be. he could be one of the greatest pitchers of the modern era. i hope he realizes that before its too late 3.) the indians have a ridiculously talented young core with a lot of players that are locked up for a long time. they'd better get at least one title out of these guys. and that's all i'm saying about it. i just wish the tribe would have gotten a shot at the Rockies, everyone knows the national league sucks ass.

halloween is coming up, which is pretty sweet. i didn't used to appreciate halloween as a holiday/event, but i'm coming around. it's just another excuse to have fun, a la cinco de mayo/st. pattys. count me in, even if i am getting too old to "rage" on a regular basis nowadays. happy halloween kiddies, i'm out.