Leopold "Butters" Stoch

First, I hate to say I told you so, but re: March Madness, after all the "Madness", what happened? A #1 seed won it all. Not just any #1 seed, but the one that had the easiest bracket - by a wide margin. So therefore, if everyone just opened their eyes and looked at the bracket, they would have picked Duke, who indeed won the whole thing. See? Not so "mad" after all.

Anyway, that's not why we're here, we're here to talk about one of the truly great role players in all of media, none other than Mr. Leopold "Butters" Stotch. To me, the great part about Butters is that everyone knows someone just like him - just a lovable, naive dipshit. On a show that is often lewd and highly inappropriate, Butters' curse words include the like of "Oh fiddlesticks" and "Oh cheeseburgers". Poor Butters.. he's under constant abuse from his friends, and under constant threat of being grounded. It's interesting how South Park has evolved over time - Butters didn't really appear much until Season 6 or so, and now outside of Kyle, Stan and Cartman, Butters is just about the most important character. So I'm going to dedicate this post to Butters, and count down some of his best moments while showing my appreciation for one of the truly great characters in all media. Let's head down to Bennigans.


Honorable mention Butters Eps: Casa Bonita (Cartman fools Butters into believing the world has ended), 'Lil Crime Stoppers (Butters spends the entire episode trying to give a semen sample), Cartman Sucks (Butters goes to prayer camp), Imaginationland (the best South Park eps, Butters becomes stuck in Imaginationland)

So without further ado, here are the top 6 Butters Eps:


6. Butters' Very Own Episode

Here's Butters' very first episode, and it's one of the very best. Here we get a glimpse into the extremely fucked up family life of the Stotch's. Excited about going to Bennigan's for his parents' anniversary, Butters is sent to spy on his father in order to find out what he's getting mom for the anniversary. Butters sees his dad go into a gay theater and a bathhouse where he "wrestles" with a man. Butters being Butters, he reports all this innocently to his mother, who then snaps, and tries to kill Butters by driving the car into the river with Butters still into it. Poor Butters.. but at least he finally gets to go to Bennigans.



5. The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs
Here we get Butters as auteur, and Kim Kardashian appreciator. The regular gang, after being aghast at how non-obscene and controversial Catcher in the Rye is, decide they're going to write a truly obscene novel, titled (appropriately) Scrotie McBoogerballs, a tale that is so disturbing, it causes spontaneous vomiting among its readers. After the book that is hidden in Stan's drawer is discovered by his mother, the boys assume they're going to get in trouble, so of course they blame Butters. Butters, being Butters, accepts blame, since he was taken under Catcher in the Rye's spell a la Mark David Chapman. To the gang's surprise, the book is seen as a powerful work of art, and becomes an overnight hit. Butters accepts credit, and does the media thing, while the boys try to expose him as a fraud. To appease his fans, Butters writes another book, this one titled "The Poop that Took a Pee", and it's about as obscene as good old Butters is capable of being, basically consisting of nothing but "pooping" and "peeing" - of course, everyone loves it, and Butters is grounded again for using obscenity by his parents. Unfortunately for our pal Butters, his novel causes someone to snap and kill Kim Kardashian, driving our boy Butters to despair.


4. Marjorine.
The gang, in an effort to get ahold of the girls' "Cootie catcher"/fortune telling device, decide to fake Butters' death, reinventing him as "Marjorine", so he can infiltrate the girls' slumber parties and steal the cootie catcher. Butters' parents, being the idiots they are, really think he's dead, and Butters' dad decides to carry out a Satanic ritual to resurrect his dead son. So after Butters accomplishes his mission and tries to return home, his parents think he's returned as a hellspawn... hilarity ensues. Poor Butters.. after his parents try to feed him a curtain salesperson - he retorts "C-Can't I just have some spaghetti-Os?.. classic.



3. Butters' Bottom Bitch

After Butters buys his first kiss for $5, he decides that since he's a man now, it's time to earn some money, and he independently thinks of the idea of becoming a pimp by setting up his own "kissing business". After discovering that pimping is a common thing, he attends a Pimp Convention, where he learns the ins and outs of the game, becoming a big time pimp in the process. I'd be Butters' bottom bitch any day.. do you know what I am saying?



2. Good Times With Weapons.
In one of the all-time great South Park episodes, a traveling fair comes to town, including a booth selling ninja weapons. After the boys pay a homeless man to buy the weapons for them, they set off about town having the type of ninja adventures 10 year old boys would have. Butters, feeling left out, dons his Professor Chaos mantle once again to do battle with the boys. After Professor Chaos defeats Stan, Kyle and Cartman in turn, Kenny throws a ninja star, which of course, hits Butters right in the eye. Wanting to avoid getting in trouble, the boys decide they can't take him to a human doctor, instead deciding to cover him in dog hair and send him to the vet, where the vet decides he has to be put down. Poor Butters.


1. A.W.E.S.O.M.-O

Cartman being Cartman, he decides he's going to play the best prank on Butters yet by dressing up like a robot and fooling Butters into thinking he's real. Butters being Butters, he buys it hook line and sinker. However, Cartman discovers that Butters has a videotape of Cartman dressed like Britney Spears making out with a Justin Timberlake cardboard cutout, and thus has to keep up the robot act while trying to find the tape. Butters ends up taking A.W.E.S.O.M.-O out to visit his aunt with him in L.A., where he sells hundreds of movie ideas, sending all the proceeds to charity, and singing one of the great South Park songs, "My Robot Friend". Poor Butters, he doesn't find out until Cartman inadvertently reveals himself through a poorly timed fart.. but he gets the last laugh by airing the tape for the entire school to air. Atta boy Butters.




Oh, here's a bonus Butters clip for your viewing pleasure: