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| From humble begininngs... |
One of the great curiosities of our day is how, in the name of everything that's holy, did 2001's "The Fast and the Furious", the type of disposable action drivel that populated the summer seasons in the late 90's and early 2000's (think flicks like "S.W.A.T." - with Jeremy Renner!, "Gone in 60 Seconds", "The Transporter", "The Italian Job" and "xXx") spawn a long and successful series that has arguably gotten better with age? Why in the world are we getting more Vin Diesel and Paul Walker while some of those equally successful and often better brethren have long been relegated to the scrap heap of Saturday afternoon's on TNT, USA and FX? Of course, a lot of it has to do with the fact that none of the actors involved have managed to have much success outside of the series (although I would argue that Vin Diesel at least deserves it), but it's a strange quirk of history that we're seeing a relatively well-reviewed 6th installment of a seemingly throwaway franchise. I've gotten a lot of mileage off of ripping on this series in the past (and will continue to do so, believe me), but I decided to do something a little different for this blog and check out the "Fast and Furious" series as a whole... so let's do it. I spent a long weekend (between Thursday and Sunday I watched the entire series, including watching 3, 4 and 5 in one sitting..) checking out one of the more preposterous series to ever reach the 6 mark (that's a post for another day..) killing brain cells and getting good at impersonating car engines in the process, so let's take a magical journey through the life of Dom Toretto and Co. ...
The Fast and the Furious (2001)
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| This car is SO fast it's blurry... |
This was the only one of the series that I'd seen prior to starting this cycle of self-abuse/project, and what I mostly recall about it was seeing it at the drive-in (yah, NW Ohio!) and my friend driving more than 80 miles an hour all the way home. I remembered that it starred Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez and Paul "Lance Harbor" Walker, featured street racing, and had some sort of plot involving criminals and police, but beyond that, I couldn't remember any details. 2001 was a long time ago, folks. On re-watching, I noticed a few things. First: Paul Walker is a miserable actor. He's just a blank slate, without charisma, range, or any discernible talent besides being good looking.. the homeless man's Keanu Reeves if you will. Second: Vin Diesel is actually a pretty good actor. He manages to imbue what could have easily been a throwaway character with a magnetism and complexity that is the simplest single explanation for why this series persists. Third: speaking of Keanu, the plot of this flick is basically a straight rip-off of Point Break. In Point Break, Keanu Reeves is an FBI agent who goes undercover with surfers because it's suspected that a string of bank robberies have been perpetrated by surfers. After making friends with one group, falling in love and busting another, it becomes clear that his new friends and their charismatic leader were behind the crimes all along. Sound familiar? Yeah, it's basically THE EXACT SAME THING. There are some exciting driving sequences, and in general, I'm amused by the world in which illegal street racing crews are public enemy #1 such to require an FBI task force. It's also quite confusing, given that his Dominic Toretto is generally a likable and honorable guy, as to his motivations for committing the highway highjackings. Doesn't he make money from racing? Seems off. At any rate, undercover cop Paul Walker/Brian O'Connor reveals his identity as a cop in order to save his new friends, and winds up letting Vin Diesel go free. The flick proudly embraces the absurdity of its premise, going all-in on this world of street racing, and is helped along by a (now horribly dated) high-energy soundtrack consisting of Ja Rule (who briefly is featured in the flick), Limp Bizkit, and other long-gone late 90's rap/rock artists. All in all, a solid if forgettable little action flick.. largely saved by the characterization and charisma of Vin Diesel's character and some kinetic action sequences. 6/10.
Number of times Vin Diesel displays super powers: 1. (After narrowly missing destruction by a train, he gets t-boned by a cement truck at approximately 70 miles an hour.. after 5 plus flips he walks away from the accident.)
Number of women who exist as actual characters: 2. Michelle Rodriguez as Letty, Vin's love interest and Jordana Brewster as Dom's sister Mia, who for some reason falls for the utterly charisma-less and obvious cop Brian O'Connor.
2 Fast 2 Furious (2003)
2 years after the release of the first film, and in the midst of Vin Diesel's brief flirtation with superstar-dom, he clearly passed on the sequel, which instead features disgraced former cop Brian O'Connor. (Paul Walker) I had never seen this flick in its entirety before, despite the fact that it's on TNT at least once a month. O'Connor, on the run to avoid charges linked to the events of the last film, has immersed himself in the world of illegal street racing and is now in Miami. After a brush with the law, his old FBI contact from the first film recruits him to help bring down a local drug lord who is using street racers to help run his operation. The brutal drug lord (for some reason played by a white guy but clearly not supposed to be white) brings on O'Connor and his old friend Roman (Tyrese) while undercover FBI agent Eva Mendes gives them help from within. This flick is clearly going for a Miami Vice feel, which distinguishes it from the first Fast & Furious movie, but is hurt bigtime by the lack of a compelling lead character. Tyrese tries his hardest to make up for the fact that Paul Walker is the least interesting man in the world but he can't make up for the fact that at its best this film feels like brainless, stakesless fun, and at worst it's obnoxious, unwatchable dreck. Paul Walker and Tyrese call each other "bruh" and "cuh" a hilarious 3,000+ times, and the only thing saving this flick from a solid "0" is a pretty smartly assembled final action sequence. If sane people were running this franchise, this would have been the end of the road, but we've only just begun. If it wasn't for the contributions that Ludacris and Tyrese make in the actually good movies in this series it would be even lower than it is. 2/10, and a rather miserable effort all around.
Number of times Vin Diesel demonstrates super powers: 0. Vin Diesel is nowhere to be found! Super powers are in rare supply here, except when Paul Walker drives a car onto an escaping yacht and it actually works.
Number of women who exist as an actual character: .5. Eva Mendes is supposed to be a character, but she never gets developed and shares exactly zero chemistry with any of her co-stars. (Not blaming her!) She gets .5 because she's not PURELY there for sex appeal, but she also serves no real function.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
This is where shit REALLY goes off the rails.
Where "2 Fast 2 Furious" only brought back Paul Walker from the first installment, this flick brings back NO ONE. WHOLE NEW CAST. At this point, you're just throwing "Fast and Furious" onto random movies featuring cars to make extra money, right? Well, let's hold on. "Tokyo Drift" features clearly 10-years-older-than-his-character Lucas "Fake Channing Tatum" Black as an American high schooler who moves to Tokyo to live with his serviceman father after getting kicked out of too many US schools for getting into racing shenanigans. (He destroys multiple cars and a subdivision with an insane race vs. the bad guy from "Accepted" in the opening sequence) In Tokyo, he finds out that (surprise!) everything's different, and has a hard time fitting in at first. After meeting the local race scene and making an embarrassing first effort, Sean is taken under the wing of a local criminal with a heart of gold (sound familiar?) named Han, who shows him the ins and outs of the Tokyo racing underworld. (Again: high-stakes racing underworld, hilarious) Lil Bow Wow is a fellow American who fills the resourceful/goofy friend role. Going into this experiment, I thought for sure this would be the one movie that I hated the most... but the crazy thing is: I kind of like it. Where 1 is a straight "Point Break" rip off with cars instead of surfing, this is a "Karate Kid" rip off with cars instead of karate. Outsider gets embarrassed, gets trained by wise, kind-hearted master, takes on bully, wins the day and the girl. Han's death is actually one of the 2 or so most resonant moments in the entire series. The simple, classic plot and insane Tokyo visuals and racing sequences make this a somewhat memorable, if very goofy, detour from the rest of the series. Han fills the Vin Diesel role and interestingly, this is the one entrant to the series that in no way features any law enforcement work, although it does feature the Yakuza - exciting! Fun series fact: director Justin Lin made his series debut with this one, he would go on to direct 4, 5 and 6 and bring some cohesiveness to the series. 5.5/10
Number of times Vin Diesel displays super powers: 0. He's not in this flick until a last-second cameo!
Number of women who exist as an actual character: 1. Sean's love interest Neela has some hopes and aspirations - despite being caught up with the dastardly "DK". (Why, in movies, are protagonists always interested in girls who are dating the villain? Doesn't that reflect poorly on her character, dude?)
Fast & Furious (2009)
At some point between 2003 and 2009 Vin Diesel's non Fast and Furious career fell apart, and Paul Walker never had a career aside from this franchise (and Varsity Blues!), so the old gang returns for the fourth installment, which in actuality is a pretty direct sequel to the first Fast and Furious flick. Plus, it has one of the more nonsensical sequel titles in recent memory. In the opening scene, we see what Vin Diesel and crew have been up to since we saw them last: hijacking fuel in the Dominican Republic, as Toretto is a wanted international criminal. Plus - HAN (HOW IS HE ALIVE??!?!?) is rolling with Dom and co. Brian O'Connor, now an FBI agent (didn't you guys know that the FBI is REALLY interested in guys with long criminal rap sheets?) is working a case to take down cartel boss Braga, who uses street racers (of course!) to transport heroin across the border through secret tunnels. After Letty (Michelle Rodriguez) is murdered by Braga's crew, Dom comes to LA seeking to bring down Braga for revenge. Dom and Brian inevitably end up joining forces and rekindling their friendship despite Brian's earlier betrayal and total lack of any interesting characteristics, and Brian and Dom's sister rekindle their romance. After some moderately interesting double crosses and a few harrowing and well-done action sequences, our heroes bring down the Braga cartel, and Vin Diesel decides to face justice. The flick ends with Brian going full villain and hijacking the bus transporting Vin Diesel off to prison in by far the flick's best scene. This flick is more interesting as the means that brings narrative cohesion to the series than anything else. It also preview's Lin's trademark taste for big, loud, preposterous action sequences. However, neither Braga nor his driver are compelling villains and the plot itself is rather paint-by-numbers and dull. Despite having many of the elements of a better movie, this one falls short, although it's great to have Vin Diesel back. 4/10
Number of times Vin Diesel displays super powers: at least twice. He and O'Connor are the only survivors from a firefight that kills dozens of other people, and he takes an absurd amount of punishment while driving through walls, fireballs, other cars, support beams and a rockface before impaling Braga's right hand man with his car.
Number of women who exist as an actual character: 2. Even though Jordana Brewster displays questionable judgment in taking back a guy that betrayed her, she has a sizable role, and the flick introduces Gisele, who will be a member of the crew moving forward.
Fast 5 (2011)
So after the return of the original cast what had been a fragmented collection of movies turned into an actual series again. After the events of Fast & Furious, Dom, Brian and Mia find themselves international fugitives on the run. The crew is in Rio, taking jobs to survive when a job gone wrong results in the deaths of DEA agents and a double cross by a Brazilian crime boss. Dom decides the group will get revenge by stealing the crime boss' entire fortune as the US government sends in their top man to apprehend the fugitives. Their top man, of course: The Rock, and this is where the series really finds its legs. Up until this point the series has featured various protagonists facing off against uninteresting villains of varying competence. Now, Hobbs (the Rock) is presented as a mirror image of sorts of Toretto, a physically imposing, competent figure who our heroes can't simply outsmart and outrun. To pull off this job, Brian and Dom decide they need a team, and they summon Ludacris and Tyrese from 2 Fast 2 Furious, Han (who is somehow not dead) from Tokyo Drift, Gisele from Fast & Furious in an effort to unite the franchise. It's actually a pretty clever conceit. The strength of this flick is its ensemble, and every character is given a moment or two to shine. Our heroes try to stay one step ahead of Hobbs while plotting their heist, and the film proceeds at a rather breakneck pace. To be honest, this is one of the better straightforward action films I've seen in quite some time. It has a great sense of fun, developed characters who have chemistry together, elaborate, ridiculous action sequences and an Ocean's 11-style heist plot. Of course, this being a Fast and Furious flick, we feature fast cars, although interestingly, this is the first flick to completely abandon the illegal street racing thread that had run through the rest of the series to greater or lesser extent. Even Paul Walker seems to have a little pep in his step, maybe because he's tasked with shouldering less of the load with a larger ensemble. The Rock and Diesel have their inevitable showdown, and it's as epic as anything in Avengers (and possibly as super-powered...) and end up inevitably joining forces to take down the crime boss who happens to own most of Rio's police. Due to the absurd ridiculousness of the whole affair and the flick's proud embracing of that ridiculousness, this flick is simply a ton of fun to watch. 7.5/10, and by far the best of the series.
Number of times Vin Diesel displays super powers: well, he successfully jumps many times to and from moving vehicles, punches and throws the Rock through walls, glass and any other "breakable" object for 10 minutes without lasting injury. At least 5 times.
Number of women who are actual characters: 2.5. Jordana Brewster's Mia is now pregnant, so she has that going on, the Rock has a Brazilian cop working with him who takes an interest in Dom, and Gisele is a half of a character, who takes a liking to Han (HOW ARE YOU ALIVE, HAN?????)
In all, I gained a new appreciation for Vin Diesel as an actor (seriously, I did), and though the series has its ups and downs, it certainly gets to a high note with 5. 2 Fast 2 Curious.
