The Wire: Top 10 Characters - All in the game, yo.

If you don't already know, you should - the Wire is straight up, the greatest/best TV show of all time, and one of the most important contributions to media of our, or any time. It is the great American novel on screen, and pulls no punches in its uncompromising depiction of the often heartbreaking conditions present in every major American city. Truly Dickensian at times, every season of the Wire took aim at a different institution in modern day America, skewering the unstoppable self-preservation inherent in any occiffied institution. If you look around real life you'll discover that the people in charge are rarely the best, the brightest or most capable, but rather the ones most willing to put their own survival above their moral code. Written by David Simon, a longtime reporter with the Baltimore Sun, and Ed Burns, a longtime detective with the Baltimore P.D., the Wire rings with authenticity, with gallows humor and both likable and despicable characters on both sides of the "war" on drugs.

Impeccably written, the Wire is at once an indictment and a celebration of what makes the American city the American city - where good guys and bad guys are still guys, and where there are literally hundreds of characters, each of which is much more than a stock character. I'm going to count down my top 10 characters in the history of the greatest show in TV history - and try to keep it relatively spoiler free. If you haven't watched the wire, please do so. Without further ado, let's do this thing.

Honorable Mention: Avon Barksdale, Marlo Stanfield, Ellis Carver, Maury Levy, Preston "Bodie" Broadus, Dennis "Cutty" Wise, Chris Partlow, Bill Rawls, Wallace, Tommy Carcetti, Slim Charles, Duquan "Dukie" Weems, Slim Charles, Cedric Daniels, Brother Mouzone, Frank Sobotka, Felicia "Snoop" Pearson, Gus Haynes, Roland "Wee Bey" Brice


10 - Senator Clay Davis

Undoubtedly the most crooked politico to ever grace the small screen, Senator Clay Davis also has the best catch-phrase.. "sheeeiiiit" is truly timeless, with all sorts of real-life applications. Clay Davis is representative of many of the points the Wire attempts to make - that villainy has many forms, and that often times, the "legitimate" crooks are worse than those the police are expected to arrest.


9 - Howard "Bunny" Colvin

A common theme throughout "The Wire"'s run deals with how "the system" treats those who dare think or act as though they know better or differently than the way it's supposed to be done. Bunny Colvin is one such example. An incredibly likable, funny, and beloved commander of the rough and tumble western district in Baltimore, "Bunny" bursts onto the scene in Season 3 and never looks back. An old-school, streetwise cop who came up working the beat on Baltimore's streets, it breaks Bunny's heart to see what the "war" on drugs has done to the job of being police and the relationship between the police and the citizenry.


8 - "Proposition" Joe Stewart

I deliberately chose the "prequel" Prop Joe clip, because it demonstrates better than any other clip out there what Prop Joe is all about. Just business, but for a nickel, sell for a dime. Joe is an incredibly likable, old-school East Side drug kingpin and major player on the Baltimore drug scene. He makes appearances in all five seasons, and brings his brand of always business charm to every appearance. Oh - he has some hilarious quotes too.


7 - DeAngelo Barksdale

Yet another example of what happens to those who dare think outside the box of their respective institutions, DeAngelo Barksdale is one of the true heartbreak stories in the Wire's run. D, the nephew of drug Kingpin Avon Barksdale and lieutenant in his empire, is, all things being considered, a great guy. Thoughtful, intelligent and even kind, he is a tragic prisoner of his family and circumstances and causes one to ask the question of how much control one really has over your destiny.


6 - Lester Freamon

Cool Lester smooth - wise, charming, good police. The man who makes the big cases throughout the Wire's run through his meticulous investigations and attention to detail. Don't let his housecat appearance fool you, Lester can drink with the best of them, and is one of the very best in the Baltimore PD. Given a second life at investigation after 13 years in the pawn unit - Lester is yet another example of how what is often valued in our institutions are not the things that enable people to thrive and succeed within those institutions. One of the best, and most likable, characters on the show, only men with as much true-to-life experience as Burns and Simon could create such an intricate character as Cool Lester Smooth.


5 - Bunk Moreland

They don't get much better than the Bunk. McNulty's best friend, partner to both McNulty and Cool Lester Smooth, and one of the best murder police in the city of Baltimore. He gets into some legendary drunks and late night shenanigans, and is the funniest character on the whole damn show most of the time. (Wait until you get to the clothes burning scene) A company man who is willing to bend the rules from time to time, Bunk came up on the streets of Baltimore, and isn't afraid to confront those he feels are aiding in the city's decline.


4 - Bubbles

Yet another study in contradictions, Bubbles is a street wise junkie with a heart of gold, a good guy in a terrible place, who manages to put a human face on the often forgotten parties in the war on drugs, the addicts who too often end up as statistics rather than charming, funny people. The clip above says it all, Bubbs is bright, well spoken, and funny, yet he squats in vacants and roams the streets searching for his next high. They filmed the Wire on the streets of Baltimore, and maybe my favorite story regarding its production involves a junkie walking up to Andre Royo (who played Bubbs) in between takes and handing him a vial, saying "you need this more than I do man". Bubbs is heartwarming and heartbreaking throughout the series, but always remains a huge part of its heart and soul.


3 - Russell "Stringer" Bell

Here we are again - another study in contradictions - perhaps the biggest one in the whole damn show. Stringer Bell is a drug kingpin, a major player in the Baltimore drug scene, Avon Barksdale's partner and second in command, who takes economics classes at the local community college, and demands his legitimate business fronts be run as legitimate businesses. It speaks volumes to the quality of the Wire as a whole that a no doubt about it "bad guy" like String, the guy orders murders and ruthlessly runs a drug empire, can be such a likable and fascinating character. String is the focus of the details obsessive and thorough investigations, and manages to elude capture by the police. A cunning criminal and cunning businessman who brings the lessons of the classroom to the street in an effort to "change the game".


1b - Omar Little

Bunk: "A man must have a code"
Omar: "Oh, no doubt"
On basically everyone else's list, Omar would be the clear-cut number one, and no doubt about it, he's outstanding, he owns every scene he's in, and in a show which is so grounded in gritty realism, he (and Brother Mouzone) is an action hero of sorts, engaging in old-west style shoot-outs and posturing. Also - at most he's a character of intermediate importance, he's not in every episode, and goes multiple episode stretches without appearing. Although when he is in an episode, you'd better believe he's in it. Yet another study in contradictions (imagine that), a gay street thug who violently robs drug dealers yet lives by a strict moral code (no "civilians", no swearing). A modern-day robin hood who follows his mantra "all in the game, yo", but only so far. Omar has the best quotes, the best scenes, and does the coolest shit in the whole show. However, the fact that he is often periphery to what is really going on in the scheme of everything else makes it impossible to just hand him the crown (you come at the king? you best not miss) - so I made him co-title holder. (cop out, I know)


1a - Det. Jimmy McNulty

In the ultimate contradiction, the Wire's protagonist, main character, and moral center is pretty much a despicable bastard. Damn it is he good police though. He's a drinking, lying bastard who basically runs roughshod over all of his personal relationships in pursuit of his target, and will screw over friends and co-workers to benefit what he perceives as right. Although, to his credit, he's not entirely selfish, he does think he is doing what's best for the city and society, and in a perfect world, McNulty's approach to street crime would help clean up streets everywhere. He can be a frustrating, prickly bastard, but damn it is he a good time.



So that's my Wire countdown. Like it, love it, leave it. I tried to be spoiler-free in clip selection and description, because I know (tragic) that the bulk of people have yet to experience the great American visual novel. Watching the Wire will give you insights to so many things happening today in our country, and hopefully open your eyes to a lot of what is really going on. I can't recommend it highly enough.

2010

So here we are, balls deep in the future, 2010. It seems almost surreal, many classic sci fi stories and films were set before 2010, or right around it. It seems as though the fantastical futures envisioned by the scribes and storytellers of the past shall not come to pass. While we may not have flying cars, private space travel, artificial intelligence or interstellar travel, one thing we do have that no one anticipated is the unbelievable speed and power of computers. Blackberries and iphones are basically laptops now, and the internet and computers have revolutionized business, finance, personal interactions, and the way people manage their lives. Fascinating really, the rapid rate of change. Literally 10 years ago, no one but businessmen had cellphones, and the internet consisted of dial-up connections and was limited in its usefullness. Now, no one under the age of 35 even has a land line telephone connection, and the vast majority of people in the know run much of their lives with the aid of the internet. Whether it's shopping, finding places to eat/go, ordering tickets, getting directions or corresponding, the internet is an integral part of virtually everyone's day to day existence.

It's odd really, thinking that really not all that long ago, everyone functioned just fine without cellphones or the internet. Now? The world would screech to a grinding halt. I got a blackberry the day after Christmas, and I will not lie, I was a blackberry/smartphone hater in the past, but that damn thing is as big of a jump from having a regular cellphone as having no cellphone is to having a regular cellphone. I've had it for 2 weeks and don't know what I did before it. I never really realized how heavily I rely on things like the internet and cellphones before last weekend, I was in Columbus for New Years, wound up staying the entire weekend and my phone died on Friday, meaning I was phone-less from Friday to Sunday. I was like incapable of doing anything. I had to follow my friends around like a puppy for fear of getting separated and having no way to re-unite with them. How the hell did people interact before cellphones? It truly is bizarre and world-changing that a relatively recent invention can completely revolutionize the way people interact and carry themselves.

That is just an aside, now let's talk about the new year. So we're in 2010. After almost 3 months living at mom and dad's, I've moved back to Cincinnati, and am now a sole practitioner in Lebanon, Ohio. I'm in a one bedroom in Pleasant Ridge, and I actually really like my place, a lot. However, it's been a long time since I've lived alone, and it can be lonely, to say the least. I've gone and made the plunge, and this is at once a prospect both exciting and terrifying. I've gone and made a move, tried to grow up, I suppose. Couple this with the fact that my younger brother got engaged, and I'm in an existential funk, to say the least. I feel like I'm back to square one on the love front, and that sucks. Not so long ago, I honestly felt as though I had that mostly under control and was interested in seeing where that took us. Unfortunately, it turns out that females who you bang multiple times on the second night you meet don't necessarily make good "relationship" material. Who knew. Turns out Kurupt was right on this one. When you've dated someone on and off for 2+ years, and are pretty sure things are going well, and then she breaks it off to bang some guy with two first names she met at a bar across the street from her house, that will make you feel like a million bucks. The worst part is that I'm actually upset about it. Still. This is me we're talking about. I don't care about anything, ever. Meh - c'est la vie I suppose.

So where am I looking to go in 2010? I'm looking to value people that actually care about me, and that I actually care about. Loyalty is a rare, rare virtue in our world today, and it's extremely undervalued. 2010 is going to be the year that we figure out if it's going to work out or not. By this point next year, I'm either going to be a (somewhat) successful and established attorney, or I'm going to go crawling back to mom and dad's, failed and broke. Ouch. Intense.

Any resolutions, you may be asking? Yes, I have two, and they are sort of linked. First, is to get back on my feet, get back out there, and find something new and exciting (and hopefully smart and funny). Second is, I need a damn hobby or some sort of productive activity to engage in, meet to people, and expand my horizons. The question is what sort of hobby? Outdoor sports are out. Not my style, to say the least. Can you picture me mountain climbing, hiking, kayaking or anything of the sort? Me neither. Movies are already kind of a "hobby" of mine, but that's not really all that conducive to meeting new people. So I don't know if I need to join a book club, take up knitting, the piano, or what. Maybe running. Something fun, social, and sober. That's my resolution. Switch it up in '10. Also, I'm going to blog at least once a week, I'd love to give my loyal readers regular updates, witticisms, criticism, complaints and good old fashioned whining on a regular basis. So try to hold me to that, I'm going to shoot for either Sundays or Tuesdays, haven't decided yet. Oh, I'm also going to blog and post a review of every single film I see for the first time in 2010. Look forward to it.

In an aside, what the fuck is up with the response to snow in Cincinnati? Yes, it is very hilly here, and that can make road conditions troublesome when there is something slick on the road. However, when the roads have been salted and plowed, there is absolutely nothing wrong with the roads, and travel is both safe and easy. Snow being plowed to the sides of the road thereby renders the roads completely passable. You can stop driving 15 mph under the speed limit, thank you.

Lastly, I think it's finally time for the Big 10 to cease being College football's whipping post. For whatever reason, it's become fashionable in the mainstream media to pick on the Big 10 as if the teams, programs and players therein are overrated, "slow", and play an inferior brand of football. This bowl season should cease all of these misguided complaints. Yes, Ohio State got dusted by Florida in the '07 national title game and lost to LSU the next year. Oklahoma has been dusted multiple times in BCS bowl games. No one talks about Michigan's defeat of (Heisman winner) Timmy Tebow's '07 Florida squad. How about Ohio State beating Oregon this year? Did you watch the game? All of the pregame nonsense was Chip Kelly, Jeremiah Masoli and Co. talking shit about how fast and quick-hitting their offense was. Yet no one talked about the true dominance of Ohio State's defense, including two future top 15 picks in Cam Heyward and Thad Gibson. Iowa thrashing Ga Tech by completely taking away college football's best rushing attack was another great win. Penn State beat the SEC's third best team in LSU. Northwestern (who is shitty, by the way) came within a shitty kicker of beating a solid Auburn team. Yes, folks, the Big 10 is finally back. Time to stop the hate and hyperbole and recognize that if you look around the NFL, there are as many guys from OSU, Penn State, Wisconsin and Michigan as there are from any 4 schools from any other conference. Slow? The NFL certainly doesn't seem to think so. But whatever, that's the media in the age of the 24-hour news network, you have to create stories from thin air.