Overrated/Underrated.

Welcome to the new-look blog. I decided to spruce it up a bit, we'll see if the changes are permanent or not. Anyway, it's time to play one of my favorite games, the one where I take two similar items and declare one as overrated and one as underrated. Here goes nothing...


•Overrated:
Wedding Crashers
Now don't get me wrong, Wedding Crashers is funny enough.. it's just sort of.. meh. After the raucous first act, the movie descends into more traditional romantic comedy territory, with only ridiculous physical comedy from supporting actors saving it from "Failure to Launch" territory. Also, when's someone going to call out Vince Vaughn for playing the exact same character in every movie? How many times can someone play "smooth talking slimeball" and get praised as "hilarious"? Are there any differences whatsoever between his Old School character and Wedding Crashers character? None that I can discern. Don't get me wrong, I love Swingers and Dodgeball is underrated, but his shtick can get a little tired. We get it Vince, you don't really have any morals and you can talk like a slick fucker. Enough already. Unless you're telling Mikey how money he is and making Gretsky's head bleed for superfan 99 over there, give it a rest.



•Underrated:
PCU
Everyone forgets about this movie, but in my mind, it's an all-time college classic. The premise is little more than an unabashed Animal House rip-off, but this little movie that could rises above and becomes so much more than the sum of its parts. Jeremy Piven is great as the poor man's Vince Vaughn, and while this one is a little dated (the 90's are good for that), it's a better portrayal of college life than pretty much any other college comedy. *cough* Van Wilder *cough*. come for Piven and David Spade, stay for Gutter. (is a tool)







•Overrated:
Bud Light.
This could possibly be my most controversial decision on this bad boy, but if you ask me, Bud Light is over-priced and just the smallest step up from significantly cheaper beer choices. And really, to be fair, I'm not calling out Bud Light in and of itself, I'm calling out all "mid-level" Light beers, whether Coors Light, Miller Lite or Bud Light. They're all identically priced and are more or less interchangeable. I'm just saying that if you put Natty and Bud Light in cups, and no one knows which is which, almost no one is going to be able to discern the difference. So all I'm saying is that what's the point of paying $18.99 for a case of bud light when you can get a 30 of natty for 2/3rds the price? If you're worried about being stigmatized by your guests, grow a pair and stand up to the man.



•Underrated:
Natural Light.
You could probably see this one coming, but honestly, is there more bang for your buck in the beer business? As discussed above, Natty is basically "store brand" Bud Light. Same ingredients, same taste, same effect. Why does one drink light beer? So that you can drink a lot of it and not be full, correct? Well, Natty is running about 33% cheaper than Bud Light, and like I said, literally no one can pass the blind taste test. Natty aversion is all psychological. Honestly, why pay 1/3rd more for something that tastes identical? If you're going to pay more for beer, get something good, Smithwick's or Sam Adams or something that you're going to enjoy. Natty has treated me well over the years, and will continue to do so. Kudos, Anheiser Busch, for having the balls to put out a product that is significantly cheaper and yet tastes virtually identical to your flagship Light beer. Unlike say Keystone Light, Natty doesn't take a step back to any of the plethora of light beers.




• Overrated:
The Boondock Saints.
Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoy The Boondock Saints, I do, however, recognize that the movie is way overrated by a large chunk of the 18-30 population. This movie wouldn't be overrated at all if it wasn't for people's opinions of it. Is it a good time? Absolutely, there aren't a whole lot of more drunkenly watchable movies I can think of. However, it should have no place on anyone's favorite movie list. It's like a homeless man's mash-up of Taxi Driver and Tarantino. Anyone who really really likes the Boondock Saints just hasn't gotten into QT or Guy Ritchie yet. This is a fun movie with some good quotes and Willem DaFoe is great, but its purely derivative, and the whole moral debate the movie is seeming to attempt to invoke just seems contrived. Overrated doesn't mean "bad", it means that opinions of this particular work are far inflated, particularly among members of my generation. If you find yourself loving The Boondock Saints, do yourself a favor and watch Pulp Fiction and Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels in quick succession and begin your edumakation. Once you find your way to Scorsese, then we'll talk.

Oh - and overrated doesn't mean I'm not pumped for the sequel, because I certainly am - check the trailer:

More The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day Info

• Underrated:
Equilibrium.
There's only so much one man can do to spread the gospel of the most tragically unknown and under-appreciated movie of his generation. The review on the cover of the DVD says "Forget the Matrix, this movie will blow you away", and I can earnestly say that quote is not hyperbole. Take 1984, mix it with the Matrix and a Brave New World, and you get one of the most badass and awesome films of the last 20 years. It's a travesty that this film was released overseas and made it's budget back, so Miramax decided not to release it domestically in theaters. Remember how I was saying that Boondock Saints tries to have something to say but it falls flat? This film has something to say, and says it loud. Christian Bale is amazing, and its a shame that domestic audiences were deprived of this film. Please, whether you have to join netflix or just buy the DVD at Best Buy, see Equilibrium. You won't regret it.



• Overrated:
The Office.
While I (seemingly along with every other person walking god's green earth) enjoy the Office, I recognize that the adoration thrown at its feet is far in excess of the show's actual merit. The Office is (well, mostly, was) a solid show with a great cast and a big heart, but as time has gone on, it's become more and more ridiculous and absurd while losing a lot of the heart that made it what it was. Most people blame that on the show departing from Ricky Gervais and the original British office outline. I'd say that's probably accurate, because the show is now so ridiculous that it is no longer believable, where what made it such a big hit to start with was the fact that this world inhabited by all of these likable characters was so recognizable to all of us. Michael Scott is just too much. I don't care how occiffied the institution may be, no one would be allowed to pull 1/9th of the shit he pulls and still have a job. Where the show was once so authentic and still funny, it now is indistinguishable from a ridiculous summer comedy. It's a shame really. Don't get me wrong, every office episode will make me last at least once, and I love the Nard-dog, but B.J. Novak and co. would be better suited to scale it back, instead of trying to keep up with 30 Rock. When you set your show in a realistic universe, you put constraints on what you can do. That being said, the show needs to reel in Michael and Dwight and have everyone else behave themselves. Just some advice.


• Underrated:
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
All of those rules that I was just talking about that apply when you set your show in a realistic world? Yeah, you can throw those out of the window. Always Sunny has never pretended to be set in a realistic world. The world of Always Sunny allows for debauchery and ass-clownery on an epic scale, and I love every minute of it. Basically Seinfeld for 20-somethings who enjoy the booze, Always Sunny features several of the most morally reprehensible individuals on the planet concocting hair-brained schemes, while sitting around and casually drinking for hours on end. Airing the show on FX allows the Always Sunny people to get away with basically anything they want, from creating musicals about nighttime rapes, to exploiting a baby found in a dumpster, to banging each others' moms. A rip-roaring good time, with no shortage of laughs.



• Overrated:
The Joker.
I hear a lot of "greatest villain ever" talk, and come on. You're almost disrespecting the dead by throwing around that kind of ridiculousness. Was Ledger great, perfect even? Sure. But "greatest villain ever"? That doesn't even make sense. TDK has so many plot holes its not even funny. How does the Joker run such an organized ship? How does he know where everyone in Gotham is at every moment? I buy him as a madman and force of nature... I do not, however, buy him as a mastermind. Cunning? Absolutely. I just never for a moment believe that the Joker is capable of the kind of schemes he pulls off in the film. How does he rig the ferries? How does he rig the hospital? How does he know EXACTLY where the SWAT Van is going to go, and thus the helicopter? This sort of thing is just never explained, and it kind of takes away from the strength of the character, who is awesome every time he's on screen.


• Underrated:
Bill "the Butcher" Cutting.
Nothing against Mr. Ledger, but here is a true master. Gangs of New York is pretty under-appreciated across the board, and I'd say that is likely due to the fact that Americans are in general un-appreciative of un-romanticized history. This is the way we were. This is perhaps Daniel Day Lewis' greatest role. Nuanced, layered, and amazing. The Butcher is much more ambiguous than many movie villains, but one should never doubt the murderous rage that lays beneath his charming outer demeanor. He manages to be, at once, father figure and arch-nemesis to DiCaprio's young Amsterdam Vallon, and the minor touches of brilliance (i.e., his semi-illiteracy) only flesh out a stellar character. The Butcher rules the Five-Points with an Iron Fist, with a direct line to the city's political power de jour. A classic, true to life villain who rests in shades of gray, it truly is a travesty that DDL received no oscar for this, perhaps his finest performance. Top Butcher quotes: "you are neither cold nor hot, and since you are lukewarm, i shall spew you from my mouth. and as for you, mr. tammany fucking hall, you come down to the points again, you'll be dispatched by mine own hand." - "Now here's the thing, I don't give a tuppeny fuck about your moral conundrum, you meat-headed shit sack, that's pretty much the thing." - "i want you to see this. notch 45. it's you, you irish bug bastard. ... why don't you burn 'im? see if his ashes turn green."



• Overrated:
Johnny Depp.
Not that Johnny Depp isn't an incredible actor, because he really, truly is. Donnie Brasco is one of the great performances from a young(er) actor of our time. The problem is that Mr. Depp is too into being Tim Burton's double-sided dildo partner and acting like a dipshit in over-priced Disney movies to take serious, grown up roles. For every Ed Wood, there's a Sweeney Todd, for every Public Enemies, a "Pirates" movie. It really is one of the great crimes committed upon the movie going public. Mr. Depp should be competing with Leo for grown-up roles, not wearing ridiculous makeup and prancing about saying "savvy". Personally, I think he should change his name to "John", stop trying to get on teen-aged girls' walls and go out and show some interest in some actual roles. Get some Oscar noms. It's been a while since Edward Scissorhands and Gilbert Grape John.


• Underrated:
Russell Crowe.
Quick, who's younger? Depp or Crowe? If you said Depp, you'd be... WRONG! If there's one movie star in Hollywood whose brilliance is completely under-appreciated (other than Gary Oldman), it's Russell Crowe. The Insider, Gladiator, A Beautiful Mind, Master and Commander, Cinderella Man. What do those films have in common other than starring Russell Crowe? Oh, they all came out from '99-'05. What other actor working today has that kind of run? Sure, he can be a prickly asshole. Who cares? What does that have to do with his skill as a thespian? The world acts as if "American Gangster" and "3:10 to Yuma" didn't happen, and like he wasn't the best actor on screen in both of them. It's a little troubling that my boy is completely under-appreciated by the public. If you haven't yet seen "Body of Lies", go check it. And if you haven't seen "State of Play", then you're me, and you need to get your shit together. Anyway, Russ Crowe, brilliant. Pumped to see the new Robin Hood.

Why I hate Ohio State...

So today is D-Day plus 1. September 13, 2009. September 11th is a day that will live in infamy for all Americans, September 12 is now a date that should live in infamy for all Ohioans. But first, let's talk about Ohio State football for a while. I never really noticed until I started meeting people from assorted (non-Ohio) locales, but people from less genuine and authentic places than Ohio often have a problem with the hoopla and excitement surrounding Ohio State football. Ohio is not a place with a transient population, it is not really a destination in and of itself. My family, on both sides, moved directly from the old country(ies) to Ohio, where it remains. This type of situation gives rise to feelings typically known as "pride" and "loyalty". People from locales on the coast and the new south often have difficulty understanding this concept. In addition, Ohio is one of the original homes of football. (Professional football was born in North-East Ohio, and Ohio is home to many of the most storied high-school programs in the nation). Players from Ohio, while not as hyped as those from say California or Florida or Texas, match up pretty favorably across the board. Check It
When one considers this storied football tradition and the fact that Ohio is far and away the largest and most football-crazy state with only one major program (until the past several seasons, UC has been a joke) - Florida has FSU, UF, Miami, Texas has Texas & A&M, Georgia has UGA & GT, California has USC, UCLA, Cal, Stanford, you'll see the root of tOSU madness. Where fan-dom in most states is determinate on where you went to school or your parents went to school, in Ohio, its determinate on the fact that you're from Ohio. You root for Ohio State because you're born and raised in Ohio, kind of like how you root for Michael Phelps and the Dream Team instead of Cuba and China in the Olympics. When these factors: football-mad, large population base, midwestern values, are combined with historical ineptitude among Ohio's professional sports franchises (with the exception of the Reds, who have been bad for 19 years now, no one has won a title since 1964), what you get is a brew that results in a rabid fanbase.
Tragically, the Ohio State Buckeyes have become the pre-2004 Boston Red Sox of the college sports scene. Not in duration of ineptitude, obviously, but just in the comedy of errors and cursed-esque shit that's been going down. If you ask me, it goes back to Texas, 2005. The Vince Young game. The same Vince Young team that went on to beat "the Team of the Century" in "the game of the century". The Ryan Hamby drop game. The Troy Smith/Justin Zwick game. tOSU just did stupid shit up and down the field in a game in which they outplayed a higher-ranked opponent en route to a loss. obviously, after that game, they beat an EXTREMELY overrated Notre Dame team in the 2006 fiesta bowl and a texas team on the road in 2006 (with a freshman QB), but since then, it's been all bad. The Florida game, obviously, where 21st century football exposed 1990s football as outdated and obsolete. The LSU game, where OSU blew a 14-0 lead, and had a dropped touchdown pass that would have put them up 24-14, which was immediately followed by a blocked field goal, and needless to say, resulted in a loss of all momentum. then, comes USC '08, Texas '08, and USC '09. USC '08 was a legitimate ass-beating. OSU was without its best player, and was overmatched and undermanned against a superior veteran-laden USC team. However, against Texas and USC yesterday, Ohio State was clearly the better team, and outplayed their opponent for 90% of the game, only to blow it in almost legendary fashion. These things only happen to teams without confidence, who are convinced that they will not win, because no one steps up and makes a play. This negative attitude permeates throughout the locker room, from the players to the coaches, and requires a serious exorcism. Ohio State needs to play loose, without regard for consequence or reputation. Clear Eyes, Full Hearts... Can't Lose. It's no fun to root for a team that's playing tense and who you're convinced is going to blow it. The '04 Red Sox broke their funk by putting a legendary ass beating on the Yankees at home. That is what needs to happen for Ohio State.
Dear Jim Tressel, please allow your roster full of future draft picks to break their funk by letting the dogs off the leash. Please stop playing it safe and take some goddamn chances. Watch game tape of Urban Meyer coached teams for reference. Thank You. Or you could just hire an offensive co-ordinator. Honestly, which big-time coach calls his own plays in 2009? What is this? 1970? To clarify Jim, I don't want you to be fired, I just want you to recognize that you don't know everything about football and could use some help because your offensive ideas are a little... behind the times? Last Night's loss was unacceptable, and the blame must go solely on your shoulders. You cannot allow your star player to be so shook by the national spotlight that he shits the bed in what should have been his coming out party. As the offensive play-caller, it is your responsibility to open up the playbook and give him opportunities to shine. Where were the run-pass option plays? Everything all night was pre-determined and Pryor was clearly so afraid to make a mistake that he chose more often than not, to do nothing at all. Please, take your hand off the throat of your football program and allow for it to breathe a little on its own. Sometimes less is more, particularly if you are clearly overmatched in the world of football, 2009. Also, I wanted to tell you that I've been let down so often these past 4 years that I'm going to temper my enthusiasm and watch as a more casual fan until you get your shit together.
Thank You Again, AB